Warning: This post contains “un-ladylike” language. Unless that lady is me.

A couple weeks ago I was at a local golf course getting ready to play in my monthly club tournament. Still getting to know my new swing and not having had a breakthrough yet, I gave myself some extra time at the range to try to get the feel for it before teeing off. I had just barely finished stretching and had only hit a few balls. I think it was pretty obvious I was concentrating on what I was doing, struggling, and adjusting.

Cue the douchetard.

ugly pigI’m pretty good at ignoring what goes on around me at the range. But one person’s hovering seemed to be getting closer and when I saw someone approach my golf bag in my peripheral vision I decided to pay attention. A guy actually grabbed a club out of my bag. Before I could even say anything, he stepped toward me and took the club from my hand! I was stunned and probably had my mouth open as I stood there in disbelief. He handed me the other club, squatted down and touched my leg! He was giving me some kind of instruction about my stance or what he wanted me to do but I couldn’t hear a word he was saying. What kind of idiot hands a woman a weapon and does that? He was not just some random guy offering tips or perving around. He was a teaching pro at the course. Think he’d attempt the same thing with a man? Even an unsolicited tip or offer of assistance? I doubt it!

I smile. A lot. I’ve been told it’s a rather cheery sight. I have also been told that when I don’t smile I look like I’m frowning. I have also been told that when I intentionally frown – especially out of anger – that I can look downright evil and have a pretty fine “death to you” glare. Short story shorter – The fuckwad made it off the range alive. But in a hurry.

So, if you’re a golf pro and you see someone like me as described above, what do you do? Don’t be that pro.

*Image from Metromix Chicago.

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