We have a winner! No, I’m not talking about Gerald Lester Watson. I’m talking about the winner of our 2014 embroidered Masters pin flag giveaway contest.
Thanks to everyone who took time to enter the contest. I had fun reading everyone’s entries.
Choosing the winner was a difficult decision. I mean, Morris Wormell wrote an incredible and LONG piece of fiction. Some people thought he should just win probably based on length alone. If I thought he wrote it just for this blog, I think we’d have HAD to choose him.
Then there was Courtney, who had my FAVORITE comment, which was simply “Stupid Bubba.” Unfortunately, that was entered after the tournament was over, so was ineligible.
And Janis, who was an early entry with a brilliant kiss ass comment – Janis, you almost had me, but I was looking for something more Masters related. I did enjoy your post tournament comment, too.
AND THE WINNER IS………………… SEAN, from Ottawa. Congrats, Sean @hugegolfhacker!
“I have been trying for many years to get tics for the masters and no luck. I would loveto go. Actually why am i even bothering typing more after seeing Morris’ post above. That breaks a record for longest internet post that I have ever seen! Just give him the flag, unless he was rude in his post (too long for me to read). Would love to see Bubba watson choke today, dont like the way he treats his caddie. Thx”
We chose Sean because he seems like a big Masters fan, generous (wanted someone else to win), anti-troll, and kind to Ted Scotts. Way to go, Sean! Enjoy your Masters flag, and please feel free to post a pic on The Golfchick Facebook page when you get it.
And thanks, once again to MMOGolf.com for providing the giveaway.
Published by golfchick on April 16th, 2014 tagged Contests, Golf Goods, Pro Tours, The Masters, Uncategorized | 4 Comments »
Who wants a 2014 Masters Embroidered Golf Pin Flag from Augusta National? I know I do! And here’s your chance to win one!
As you may have noticed, this blog has not exactly been active lately. I’ve been planning to get back to it but sadly it’s taken a back seat to some other endeavors lately. With my excitement over The Masters, I figured I’d take this opportunity to jumpstart those plans. Giveaways seem like a lame ploy for traffic and comments, but it’s a Masters flag!
The good people at MMOGolf.com are providing the flag to a lucky winner (and one to me – yay!) in exchange for this blog post, some social media promotion and this link to their site: MMOGolf.com
How to enter
All you need to do to enter is comment on this blog post with your thoughts about The Masters. It can be anything – why it’s the best major (or not – WHAT?), what The Masters means to you, a story about your trip there, what you’d give to go watch the tournament or play the course, your prediction of who will win – you get the idea. The comment can be as short or long as you want. Entries must include your email (so I can contact you if you win) and must be received before the last putt sinks at Augusta at the end of Masters Sunday (April 13, 2014). Feel free to leave your twitter handle in the comment, too. You’ll get a shoutout if you win, and maybe even if you don’t.
How to win
Well, it’s pretty subjective. You just have to write the post that I and my staff (ahem) like the best. My friends may weigh in as well. If you’ve been reading this blog or following me on social media for any length of time, you have an advantage because you probably understand what I like and my sense of humor better than someone who doesn’t. I could choose anything from something poignant and lengthy to something quick and dirty that makes me laugh or anywhere in between.
That’s it. We’ll go over the entries and choose a winner after The Masters hangover wears off. I’ll announce the winner here and across my social media accounts, and email the winner directly for shipping information. Good luck, and HAPPY MASTERS WEEK!
Published by golfchick on April 8th, 2014 tagged Contests, Pro Tours, Social Media, The Masters | 22 Comments »
One of the biggest issues currently in the game, anyone from the casual golfer to the touring pro will agree, is slow play. In the last couple years, the golfs various governing bodies have devised their own attempts at resolving the slow play issue. The PGA of America came up with “Tee It Forward”, the USGA with “While We’re Young”, and the PGATOUR with “Its Not Our Fault”. I recently had the ‘opportunity’ to play golf with a coworker (lets call him Jim) who, in a good month plays once, and if he kept accurate score would shoot 120 under the best of circumstances. This experience made me acutely aware of one thing…. The average golfer has no clue what they are doing.
Let me explain why I, as of this round, am completely against all “initiatives” taken by golf’s governing bodies.
1 – I can count on one hand how often Jim, in all of his 116* shots that day, actually saw where his ball finished. He could have teed off from the 150 markers, and the only way that would have sped up the round was the fact we have 4 fewer shots per hole to look for. I cannot imagine how long that round would have taken had it been him and 3 similarly skilled golfers in the same group. I was raised on a golf course, and the ability to watch and find golf balls was instilled in me at a very young age. Had I not been there, he’d have either lost close to 30 balls that day, or he’d STILL be playing that round, 4 days later.
2 – The inability for Jim to understand efficiency around the course, especially the greens, astounded me. Without getting too wordy, let me give the most ridiculous example of an event when I considered a sand wedge to my forehead may be a better option than golf with Jim. 5th hole, Jim had chipped onto the green, about 60 feet from the hole (after subsequent 5 minute ball searches in the right rough). Jim brought his wedge and putter, like any golfer should do. After putting his 60 footer about 20 feet short, Jim walked up to his ball (it was still his turn), marked it, and promptly walked back to his wedge, which was sitting 40 feet away on the green between himself and the cart, retrieved it, and took it back with him to his mark that was comfortably resting 20 feet from the hole. WTF?!?! THE WEDGE WOULD HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ON YOUR RETURN TO THE CART!!!
3 – At least once per hole after a poor shot, Jim would magically pull a ball from his pocket, drop it from where the previous ball was played, and make another horrific attempt at a golf shots (after yet another excessively long and unnecessary pre-shot routine).
4 – For someone who was very liberal with not counting tops, whiffs, chunks, etc… the time spent over 2 foot putts was absolutely ridiculous.
5 – This next point has virtually nothing to do with slow play, but it confuses me to no end, and no matter how many ways I asked the question, I could never get an answer. Jim was driving the cart, and when he pulled up to the green, every time, he’d pull the cart off the path completely before he stopped. Why?!? Parking a cart on concrete doesn’t kill grass. Parking a cart on grass does. Forget the agronomy of the parking issue, I don’t expect most people to understand that…when I park my car I don’t look for the nearest grassy area, I leave it on the concrete, which was obviously designed for the parking of my car. The same goes with the cart!!
At no point did Jim consider himself to be a slow golfer, and when asked “hypothetically” about ways he could speed his round up, he could make no recommendations. Nor had Jim ever heard of the “Tee It Forward” or “While We’re Young” campaigns. This round of golf, and my discussions with him, made me realize one very important thing….
The average golfer has no interaction with golf other than their 5 hour, once per month rounds. The USGA and PGA can have all the initiatives they want, but promoting them solely on golf broadcasts or in golf publications only reaches the people who already know they are slow and who want to improve. The average golfer doesn’t watch golf telecasts, doesn’t watch The Golf Channel, doesn’t subscribe to golf periodicals, they smuggle a 6pack of beer onto their local muni once a month and smack a ball around in a game that loosely resembles golf.
Do I have an answer to this dilemma? Maybe. Does it involve anything less than physical torture and removal from golf courses? Potentially. I haven’t thought through it enough to post my solutions…however, I would love to hear your ideas and solutions as it relates to the slow play problem. Is there a solution? What do you think?
Published by Levi on July 6th, 2013 tagged Don't get me started, Guest Bloggers, Levi Slings | 24 Comments »
Originally published in my column at worldgolf.com – some poetry for hackers.
The air is crisp. The wind is still. The golf clubs are shiny.
I break the silence with a clean thwack and watch as my ball flies with purpose across a bright blue sky that seems to serve only as a canvas for my stroke.
The ball bounces and rolls through the dew, smudging the immaculate fairway before it settles in the middle. I trace its line with my steps as if following a shooting star. My feet press my signature into the grass.
I choose my next brush and again interrupt the quiet air to apply another stroke. For a moment the line is lost as the thin application takes an imaginative path.
From an unplanned perspective I mask out the grainy shoreline that guards my focal point about 40 yards away. I hear encouragement in the waking song of a bird. This is my specialty. This is my bread and butter. I scrape a chunk of butter and hear the songbird laugh.
Five feet closer than I was, the hue increases in intensity. My focus gets so sharp that it blurs, and I nearly take the skull right off the ball with my passionate flair. The line I produce has such speed that it threatens to leave the floating canvas, but it comes to rest near a dried red border.
My golf ball looks comfortable, resting its sore head in a soft depression as it tries to hide among the long reeds and clumps of soil. A roadrunner stares into my soul from the edge of the tulles. From this angle, I am offered another pristine beach that demands to be left unsullied.
Shunning artistic convention, I defiantly pollute the beach with my next stroke. I look back toward the tulles and see the arrogant roadrunner walking slowly away.
These sands are so beautiful they really shouldn’t be so close to the green. As I step into my new medium, I notice its morning texture and decide on my stroke technique. Two strokes later, I smooth the sand’s surface, trying to re-create the groundskeeper’s magnum opus, and ascend to the silky green palette, now splattered with my own gritty handiwork.
I admire the curves and slopes from all angles before going back to the deckled edge where my ball is perched. I imagine a 25-foot arch painted from my ball to the hole; I intend to glaze it with my next stroke. As I carefully apply it I am immediately aware that a lighter touch would have made a more appealing picture. I watch as its path exposes previously unseen slopes.
Appreciating the nuances I missed, I study the area again to prepare for a smooth, 10-foot brush stroke. My amateur eye is revealed as I again fail to connect the dots and my line ends inches from the hole.
I swiftly complete the connection.
As I walk toward the next frame in this outdoor museum, I tally my marks on the last and announce quietly to the ether my double-digit result:
I must be imagining the mockingbird repeating it back to me again and again: 10, 10, 10.
To avoid a messy composition I try to suppress all the swing thoughts bubbling up as a result of that 10. Forget the golden sections. Forget the rule of thirds. Forget atmospheric perspective. Keep the focal point.
Another day of happily embracing the gestalt theory is underway.
Published by golfchick on June 15th, 2013 tagged Worldgolf.com | 7 Comments »
Earlier this month, I was invited to take part in a Nike Covert Distance Challenge at Golf Galaxy, which was being held every weekend (Friday – Sunday) in March. I’m a golf junkie, as anyone who knows me understands, so obviously I was pretty excited to take part in this exercise. I’m always in the market for new golf equipment, and after Nike’s recent media barrage, I was very interested to see how the new Covert driver stacked up against my current gamer.
Below are some excerpts from the invitation I received:
“Golf Galaxy has teamed up with Nike to bring golfers across the country the Nike Covert Distance Challenge. Every weekend (Friday through Sunday) in March, Nike gurus will be in-store to deliver club fittings. Golfers of all levels are invited to bring in their existing driver to test against the new Nike VR_S Covert Tour. Just by participating in a fitting, the golfer will be given a free sleeve of Nike 20XI golf balls.
If you haven’t already tried the VR_S Covert, now is the best chance to try a driver that offers FlexLoft adjustability and unique high-speed cavity back technology—all backed by the one-on-one support of a Nike fitting guru.”
I’ll say it again. I’m a golf junkie, and the invitation is worded exactly how I would expect a driver fitting/comparison to go. I’m all for new equipment, but not until I know how it stacks up against what I’ve already grown to love and use on a daily basis. This seemed like the perfect opportunity to see how Nike’s new Covert performed. And then I went to my local Golf Galaxy to participate…..
I walked into the store, a store I frequent at least twice a week during the golf season, to an expected swarm of people who are also excited about the impending spring. The weather has finally turned, the sun was shining, golf courses are starting to open, and people are in their local Golf Galaxy to check out the latest apparel and equipment. The store’s putting green was full of a local college golf team’s players, competing for what we will assume are bragging rights. The clothing department is a collection of all walks of life, trying to decide which latest fashion will make them play better, or at least look like their beloved Rickie Fowler. Resisting the urge to stop the elderly gentleman from buying a flat billed orange hat, I walked past and approached my nearest Sales Associate.
Me- “Hi, are you doing the Nike Covert Distance Challenge today?”
Sales Associate- “Which one?”
Me- “The Covert driver fitting and comparison.”
SA- “Which club you wanna hit?”
Me- “Uh, the driver?”
SA- “I mean which head. Tour or regular?”
Me- “Tour head, that’s what’s on my current driver.”
With this nugget of new information, the Sales Associate scurries off, with no indication if I was to follow or wait for him. I followed him, because it just felt right. I caught up to him digging through a pile of Nike equipment conveniently located by the same launch monitor on which I was fit for my last driver.
“Perfect” I say to myself, “This should be fun. Let’s get on this launch monitor and get things started.” Instead, the Sales Associate asks what loft I want to hit. I think to myself “That’s strange, shouldn’t we determine what loft is best during the fitting?” But, rather than get in the way of what I assumed was his process, I said, “I play a 10.5 now, let’s go with that.” The Sales Associate hands me a club, points to a simulator and says “That simulator’s open” and wanders away, never to be seen again. At no point during our encounter did I get the feeling that this simulator time was going to be for me to warm up, get a feel for the club, nothing. So, I hit a few shots into the simulator with this new club, waited around for the Sales Associate’s unlikely return, and then left the store. Not only did I leave without the sleeve of golf balls I was promised, I left with no more knowledge of the Covert driver than I had when I went into the store compounded by the sour taste of poor customer service in my mouth. Thankfully, I was headed to lunch shortly after.
I won’t let myself believe this was the actual process that Nike or Golf Galaxy had in mind when they sent this invitation. If this was in fact the process, I don’t have the words to describe my disappointment. Maybe this Sales Associate was supposed to perform the fitting, and just wasn’t having a good day. I doubt this as well, as the invitation said Nike Guru’s would be on site to perform the fitting. In my opinion, one of two things happened, neither of which are acceptable but would provide some explanation.
1- This Sales Associate had no idea what I was talking about, but rather than ask someone, he thought it would be easier to send the oblivious customer, who he assumed had no intention of actually buying a golf club, to the nearest simulator to wail away on some balls.
2- The actual Nike Guru was not at the store as advertised, but rather than tell me that, thought it would be easier to send the oblivious customer, who he assumed had no intention of actually buying a golf club, to the nearest simulator to wail away on some balls.
As an aside, the day prior to this, I was randomly paired for 9 holes with a manager of that very store, and I had mentioned my intentions to do this fitting, and he seemed to know what I was talking about. All of these factors leave me at a loss for a valid explanation of my experience. I went into this Covert Challenge fully prepared to write a review of the process, and ultimately of my opinion of the Nike Covert driver itself. So, what is my opinion of the process and ultimately of the driver itself? I’ll offer some words of advice I was recently given.
“That simulator’s open.”
Published by Levi on April 4th, 2013 tagged Golf brands, Golf Goods, Guest Bloggers, Levi Slings, Product Reviews | 8 Comments »
The official start of spring is only a few days away. Unless, you subscribe to the theories of those witch doctors known as meteorologists. Somehow, in their crazy brains, the start of “meteorological spring” actually occurred on March 1. Those clowns have been pissing me off repeatedly for a few months now, and this is just another example. Anyway, Spring has almost sprung, as the old saying goes. I write these ramblings sitting in my home office looking out my window into my backyard, and as of this writing, only a small pile of snow remains where the sun doesn’t quite yet shine. And there’s some in my yard too.
I call this the season of Hope. In the upper Midwest, where I reside, I subscribe to the theory of 4 seasons, like the rest of the world. However, my seasons are Hope, Summer, Sadness, and Hell. I’ve spent this latest season, Hell (winter), under the spell of my annual coping mechanism, oblivion. Sure I know what’s going on outside, and I deal with that, however when it comes to golf, I shut off my brain. Whether it be thinking about it, writing about it, watching it, or anything else involving it, it’s best I just avoid them all together. As all 4 of my faithful readers know, I’ve been fortunate enough to take a few trips to the desert this year to play a some rounds, and earlier this week I spent 36 holes in 80 degree sunshine in the tropical locale of Kansas City, Missouri. Upon my arrival back home, a dejected, isolationist funk overcame me, once again. That funk led to an epiphany, a way to describe to those not addicted to the wretched game of golf just how I was feeling. And, my lack of motivation to go to the gym this morning is leading me to write about it. So, you, the reader, are benefiting from both my depression and my laziness, how thoughtful of me.
Is there anything more painful to an addict than the occasional hit of a drug, knowing during the entire trip that after coming down from that high the next hit could be weeks, even months away? Is that a reason to celebrate the buzz, or lament its futility? As I review the past few months, the question I continually ask myself, was taking those trips good or bad? Now, even I will acknowledge the memories and friends made on those trips far outweigh the angst of the occasional hit of my chosen drug. But, as far as the psychological impact of these random golf benders, is the binge and purge method really a good one? All doctors, self proclaimed experts, or anyone that stayed in a Holiday Inn Express last night will tell you, moderation is the key to happiness. But let’s face it, I don’t do anything half-assed. Except of course exercise, work, cleaning my house, yard work, laundry, cleaning my garage, balancing my checkbook, double checking my taxes…. Well ok, you get the point, I don’t do golf half assed. I also stayed in a Holiday Inn Express last week, so does that make me an expert too?
After much reflection, and a few cups of coffee, I’ve come to a decision. Maybe the binge and purge method isn’t the best method, but it’s the only method I know. I’d much rather have the excitement of an upcoming golf trip to get me through the dark dreary winter days than nothing at all. Like any good addict, I will continue to do anything in my power to feed my addiction. The first step to overcoming an addiction is to admit we are powerless over the drug, and that our lives have become unmanageable.
I admit I’m powerless, but so far I seem to be managing just fine.
Published by Levi on March 19th, 2013 tagged Golf Travel, Golf Trips, Guest Bloggers, Levi Slings, Rants And Random Ramblings | 4 Comments »
Post written by Levi.
I remember once explaining the difference between Facebook and Twitter to a less tech-savvy coworker. “Facebook is a way to keep in touch with your friends. Post a status or photo about what’s going on in your life. Twitter is for people to tell other people they’re standing in line at Subway. I don’t care that someone’s standing in line ordering a sandwich.” I created a Twitter account on July 4 2009.
I created that account for 1 reason really. That reason, obviously, was to feed my addiction to golf. I’d heard that professional golfers were all “tweeting” and I, eternally frustrated by what I considered to be too slow of a golf news cycle on the major websites, figured following their “tweets” would keep me more informed. I set up my account, and followed anyone related to professional golf I could find. Players, writers, caddies, you name it, if it was related to the game of golf I followed. I had no intention of tweeting. In all honesty, I didn’t quite know how to use it. And, I loved it. I could see what Stewart Cink was putting on his smoker, I could see pictures of pros playing cards during rain delays, I could read what caddies did after the round, it was an all access pass into the game and lives of professional golfers. Over time, I’d add a real life friend in the mix, or a friend of a friend, or a guy I knew from golf, but it remained primarily a tool for me to see inside the world of professional golf. I’d tweet occasionally, that tweet going out to all 14 of my followers. My tweets were only about golf, Twitter was to be my online golf persona, nothing else. Over time, I gained some followers I didn’t know, presumably based on my random golf tweets.
And then, at some point, everything changed. Acquaintances turned into friends. Friends of those friends became friends of mine. But, that’s pretty much where it stopped. There was always one degree of separation between those new friends and myself. The more followers I had, the more I tweeted. I stuck to golf, primarily, because I had my Facebook account for my “real” friends. At the risk of rambling, I’m going to yadda yadda over the next year of my Twitter existence. Fast forward to about 3 months ago. I had slowly but surely stopped following golfers, writers, and generally anyone I didn’t “know”. My followers were real people, most of whom I’d never heard of and certainly never met. I followed people with whom the only connection we had was the love of golf. I’d actually started to strike up genuine friendships with strangers from all over the world.
At some point in December, I was invited to join some Twitter friends (normally I’d put “friends” in quotation marks, but these individuals have truly become friends) on a trip to Scottsdale for a golf vacation. The plan was for golf, friends, and a trip to the one and only Waste Management Phoenix Open.
I’m not going to get into the details of the trip, I don’t feel like words can do it even close to justice. One item I will share, however, is a shining example of how friendships can be created by social media. The group had rented a condo about 2 blocks from the main entrance of TPC Scottsdale. When I got to town, I had the address, and when I arrived at the condo, the door was cracked open. Did I knock? Hell no. I opened the door, barged in and the virtual friendship we’d all grown comfortable with immediately transferred to real life.
I spent 3 nights and 4 days, had thousands of laughs and created innumerable memories with the group that week. Herb (@mctwentytwo) and Courtney (@lilwolp) came from Pennsylvania, myself (@Levigolfs) from Iowa, Cody (@golfingblademan) and Tiffany (@tiffanyrn11) from Southern Arizona and Matt (@oneputtblunder) from Phoenix all welcomed each other with open arms and open hearts that week.
There is no reason on this earth that the 6 of us should have been put together for those few days in Scottsdale. But let me say this, I’m glad the earth spun its magic and made that week happen. I’d have considered every one of those individuals friends prior to that meeting at what has been dubbed #scottsdale2013, but I consider them to be lifelong friends today. I can also easily name another 10 or 15 “tweeps” that would be encouraged and welcomed to #scottsdale2014. The last I checked, there’s no such thing as too many friends.
What’s the moral of this story? I guess I haven’t really thought that far yet. The moral of this story… the most random of occurrences can have the most unexpected results. So many of us, myself being the biggest offender, focus so much of our lives on the game of golf. While I’ve known this forever, this trip reinforced my belief that golf isn’t just a game. Golf is the facilitator to the good life. Sure, I have good days and bad days. I hit more bad shots than I hit good shots. I yell at my steering wheel after another missed cut, and I might drink a little too much when I get home. But, at the end of the day, the people I’ve met because of this wretched game have become lifelong friends. So, before we all die and come back as zombies looking to feed on the fresh flesh of non-golfers, lets enjoy today and look forward to tomorrow.
Editor’s note: I’m pretty sure Levi met me before any of these people on the twitters. And that I “introduced” him to some key players, without which, this story may never have taken place. Yet, I got no mention. I’m a little put off. I should be big about this and not say anything, but I’m not. I’m bitter that I couldn’t join them on the trip due to prior obligations. Maybe he’s the bitter one. Because he can’t have really forgotten that, right? :p Anyway, the twitters have brought a lot to my life as well. And I can’t wait to meet my twitter friends in “real life” for the first time. And, in case you’re wondering, I’m @thegolfchick on the twitters. Hope to see you there!
Published by Levi on February 19th, 2013 tagged Guest Bloggers, Levi Slings, Pro Tours, twitter | 5 Comments »
Somehow we made this list of top sports blogs to follow. Number 49. Not too shabby! And what a cool infographic. We’re just under Sharapova’s Thigh. Levi might enjoy that part most of all. :p
Hope you discover some fun new blogs to watch!
An infographic by the team at CouponAudit
Published by golfchick on January 30th, 2013 tagged Blogs And Blogger Stuff | 7 Comments »
Love playing fun, competitive golf? Love Las Vegas? Me, too! Several large amateur events happen around the United States each year and now there’s a new kid on the block. I don’t know what took them so long; seems like a natural fit to me. Don’t golfing and gambling just go hand in hand? This year marks the inaugural event of the Las Vegas World Amateur, and I, for one, want to get out and play it!
When I spoke with the event director almost a month ago, they already had promising response, interest and registrations. The first year of an event like this could be a relatively intimate group but with a location and courses like these, it seems destined to grow into something much bigger. Why not get in on the ground floor and make it an annual pilgrimage -an excuse to play “winter golf” on a Vegas getaway?
It’s not too late to sign up and make your plans to go! The event is set for February 11-15, 2013. It’s open to all amateur players of all skill levels, so you can even bring your Valentine and make the most of it! Even if I can’t bring a valentine, I have a turbulent love affair with golf so that works for me.
Flighted by gender and handicap, the event has enlisted an incredible array of participating courses, which will be determined based on registration numbers and flights. The courses are:
- Arroyo Golf Course
- Badlands Golf Course
- Bears Best
- Boulder Creek Golf Club
- Highland Falls Golf Course
- Paiute Las Vegas – Sun Mountain Course
- Palm Valley Golf Course
- Royal Links Golf Club
- Siena Golf Course
- TPC Las Vegas
- …with the championship round being played on Spanish Trail
The event will have all the trappings of an amateur tournament of this level – receptions, parties, awards dinner – only you can bet on some true Las Vegas flair thrown in. Despite the Vegas golden rule, I’m pretty sure you can take your trophy home if you win.
Check out the Las Vegas World Am website for all the details. See you there?
Published by golfchick on January 10th, 2013 tagged Golf Travel, Golf Trips, Las Vegas Golf, Las Vegas World Am | 7 Comments »
As most of you know, and some of you probably even care, I’m currently buried under more than a foot of snow, and oppressed with temperatures hovering around 0 degrees f. For my readers across the pond, I have no idea what that means in your crazy Metric system. Yes I know I sound like a closed minded American, and, well… I just don’t understand Metric. This combination of annual events generally leads me to completely forget about my passion for all things golf, as a coping mechanism. This year is no different, however, I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to take some trips, with more planned, to the desert to chase the sun, feel the warmth, and watch that little white golf ball fly in the completely wrong direction as intended. Some people call me crazy to fly 3000 miles round-trip for a weekend of sun and golf, and it pains me to say this, those people are right. But, I’m not crazy by their definition, I’m crazy by the addicted golfer definition. Do what it takes to do what we love.
As I sit here at my computer this Christmas morning, drinking my Bailey’s and coffee, looking out my window over the barren landscape of white and grey, I’m almost feeling prepared to write something inspirational that cures the world of all its ill’s. But, then I remember I’m not capable of that, and even if I were, you wouldn’t be reading a golf blog for that inspiration. Its the holiday season, and this season is supposedly supposed to make us all sit back and reflect on what the prior year has taken and given, how we feel about those events, and what they mean to us. More has happened in the last month than most of us have cared to deal with.
The Mayan calendar supposedly signaled the end of the world for Dec 21, and unless our pre-armageddon lives are eerily similar to our post-apocalypse existence, there’s a whole bunch of Mayan’s laughing and pointing at us from the afterlife. There wasn’t a giant earth-shattering explosion, no asteroid carrying Bruce Willis and the remnants of his world saving space craft plummeted through the atmosphere, and no zombies came out of the ground looking to feed on our soft supple skin. Now, I’ve never been a big believer of zombies, although I did recently see an interview with Joan Rivers and I’m starting to rethink my stance. In the days leading up to Dec 21, I often though to myself (i’ve had a lot of free time on my hands) if the world does end, I hope its some slow but obvious chain of events that allows us to enjoy the end, not just some instant end where no one gets to play the “I told you so” game. If there was a zombie uprising, would you let one into your Saturday morning scratch skins game, knowing that zombie doesn’t have near the flexibility or mental fortitude to make a good golf swing, and risk potential death to take his money? What if he coughed in your backswing? Say something and risk annihilation? Will the undead give you that 6inch putt? What if he takes an illegal drop? Let it go, or make him play a new ball, and risk having your face chewed off? What if Joan Rivers is a sandbagger and you get taken? See what I did there? I got you all imagining how a zombie would look, and then threw Joan Rivers at you. You can’t un-imagine that. If Joan Rivers happens to be reading this, I’m sorry Joan, no harm intended, but you really went overboard with your procedures. Even Dick Clark taught us that no matter how young we continue to look, our bodies will eventually give out. In case the reader didn’t realize, A.D.D. is fun sometimes.
Anyway, a few days before the forecasted apocalypse, a disturbed kid went into an ELEMENTARY school and gunned down 20 kids, 6 teachers, and his mother. If we didn’t believe in the end of the world, that morning we all collectively had a small piece of us that hoped the Mayan’s were right. If that kind of shit was happening, why do we even want to be here? Whats the tie-in to golf here? Nothing. I just wanted to talk about that. The issues surrounding that event are far to complex for my mind to comprehend or even have an opinion about. The world needs to change, and we golfers are supposedly the most honest and caring group of them all. And if we aren’t, we should make that our mission to be known as such. We can change the world with one act of random kindness at a time. Hey, there’s that golf tie in I was looking for! And, in the words of Forrest Gump, that’s all I have to say about that.
As I said, its Christmas morning, and I have some Christmas wishes.
Wish 1 – I want the game of golf to grow, for club rosters to be full, for people to see the value and benefit of the game of golf in their lives.
Wish 2 – I want every single one of you to test yourself in some sort of an individual tournament. Net, Scratch, Matchplay, Strokeplay, whatever. The feeling of knowing there’s no one to bail you out, to know the shot you’re about to hit matters, thats an experience every golfer should know. You’ll appreciate that game more, and no matter what you shoot, how you finish, you’ll be a better player for it.
Wish 3 – I want to turn my negative emotions to positive emotions, and build on them. I can’t change the past, can only control the next shot. And if it doesn’t go where I wanted it to go, chase that ball down and try again.
Wish 4 – Give back. Buy a kid a lesson. Buy a kid a sleeve of golf balls. Give a kid your “lucky” ball if you encounter them on the course. Instead of playing thru that group of 2 kids, join them. And be an adult while you’re at it. If kids see you acting like a jackass on the course, they’ll do the same. Then, watch them play, the enthusiasm they have, encourage their shots, all of them. It will wear off on you, I promise. Basically what I’m saying is be a good example.
Wish 5- Play like a kid. Its a game, its fun, we wouldn’t have started playing it if it wasn’t.
Wish 6- PLAY FASTER!
Wish 7- Buy something from your club. Sure, that shirt, club, dozen balls, glove, or whatever may be a few dollars more expensive than it is at the discount big-box retailer, but your Pro is trying to make a living providing you with a service. Take advantage of that. And while you’re at it, take a lesson.
Wish 8- Get to know someone you’re randomly paired with on the course. Some of my best friends are people I met on the 1st tee of local muni’s.
Wish 9- I want to golf with some of the amazing people I’ve met on Twitter. That sounds crazy, but, one can’t ever have too many friends. (side note – this has already been arranged for a late January round with friends from all over the US, and its going to be a blast).
Wish 10- GO LOW.
Well kids, I’m out of coffee and its now Christmas afternoon. No matter your reason for celebrating, and no matter how you are celebrating, I hope you’re having a good time at it. I’d love to see some of your Christmas wishes. Post them in the comments, or send them to me at Levi@thegolfchick.com. I’m always looking for new things to write about, maybe you’ll give me some inspiration. And, if your wish is for me to stop writing these pointless blog posts, Santa is watching you, knows where you golf, and the next time you hit a shot OB, remember what you wished for!!!