As most of you know, and some of you probably even care, I’m currently buried under more than a foot of snow, and oppressed with temperatures hovering around 0 degrees f. For my readers across the pond, I have no idea what that means in your crazy Metric system. Yes I know I sound like a closed minded American, and, well… I just don’t understand Metric. This combination of annual events generally leads me to completely forget about my passion for all things golf, as a coping mechanism. This year is no different, however, I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to take some trips, with more planned, to the desert to chase the sun, feel the warmth, and watch that little white golf ball fly in the completely wrong direction as intended. Some people call me crazy to fly 3000 miles round-trip for a weekend of sun and golf, and it pains me to say this, those people are right. But, I’m not crazy by their definition, I’m crazy by the addicted golfer definition. Do what it takes to do what we love.
As I sit here at my computer this Christmas morning, drinking my Bailey’s and coffee, looking out my window over the barren landscape of white and grey, I’m almost feeling prepared to write something inspirational that cures the world of all its ill’s. But, then I remember I’m not capable of that, and even if I were, you wouldn’t be reading a golf blog for that inspiration. Its the holiday season, and this season is supposedly supposed to make us all sit back and reflect on what the prior year has taken and given, how we feel about those events, and what they mean to us. More has happened in the last month than most of us have cared to deal with.
The Mayan calendar supposedly signaled the end of the world for Dec 21, and unless our pre-armageddon lives are eerily similar to our post-apocalypse existence, there’s a whole bunch of Mayan’s laughing and pointing at us from the afterlife. There wasn’t a giant earth-shattering explosion, no asteroid carrying Bruce Willis and the remnants of his world saving space craft plummeted through the atmosphere, and no zombies came out of the ground looking to feed on our soft supple skin. Now, I’ve never been a big believer of zombies, although I did recently see an interview with Joan Rivers and I’m starting to rethink my stance. In the days leading up to Dec 21, I often though to myself (i’ve had a lot of free time on my hands) if the world does end, I hope its some slow but obvious chain of events that allows us to enjoy the end, not just some instant end where no one gets to play the “I told you so” game. If there was a zombie uprising, would you let one into your Saturday morning scratch skins game, knowing that zombie doesn’t have near the flexibility or mental fortitude to make a good golf swing, and risk potential death to take his money? What if he coughed in your backswing? Say something and risk annihilation? Will the undead give you that 6inch putt? What if he takes an illegal drop? Let it go, or make him play a new ball, and risk having your face chewed off? What if Joan Rivers is a sandbagger and you get taken? See what I did there? I got you all imagining how a zombie would look, and then threw Joan Rivers at you. You can’t un-imagine that. If Joan Rivers happens to be reading this, I’m sorry Joan, no harm intended, but you really went overboard with your procedures. Even Dick Clark taught us that no matter how young we continue to look, our bodies will eventually give out. In case the reader didn’t realize, A.D.D. is fun sometimes.
Anyway, a few days before the forecasted apocalypse, a disturbed kid went into an ELEMENTARY school and gunned down 20 kids, 6 teachers, and his mother. If we didn’t believe in the end of the world, that morning we all collectively had a small piece of us that hoped the Mayan’s were right. If that kind of shit was happening, why do we even want to be here? Whats the tie-in to golf here? Nothing. I just wanted to talk about that. The issues surrounding that event are far to complex for my mind to comprehend or even have an opinion about. The world needs to change, and we golfers are supposedly the most honest and caring group of them all. And if we aren’t, we should make that our mission to be known as such. We can change the world with one act of random kindness at a time. Hey, there’s that golf tie in I was looking for! And, in the words of Forrest Gump, that’s all I have to say about that.
As I said, its Christmas morning, and I have some Christmas wishes.
Wish 1 – I want the game of golf to grow, for club rosters to be full, for people to see the value and benefit of the game of golf in their lives.
Wish 2 – I want every single one of you to test yourself in some sort of an individual tournament. Net, Scratch, Matchplay, Strokeplay, whatever. The feeling of knowing there’s no one to bail you out, to know the shot you’re about to hit matters, thats an experience every golfer should know. You’ll appreciate that game more, and no matter what you shoot, how you finish, you’ll be a better player for it.
Wish 3 – I want to turn my negative emotions to positive emotions, and build on them. I can’t change the past, can only control the next shot. And if it doesn’t go where I wanted it to go, chase that ball down and try again.
Wish 4 – Give back. Buy a kid a lesson. Buy a kid a sleeve of golf balls. Give a kid your “lucky” ball if you encounter them on the course. Instead of playing thru that group of 2 kids, join them. And be an adult while you’re at it. If kids see you acting like a jackass on the course, they’ll do the same. Then, watch them play, the enthusiasm they have, encourage their shots, all of them. It will wear off on you, I promise. Basically what I’m saying is be a good example.
Wish 5- Play like a kid. Its a game, its fun, we wouldn’t have started playing it if it wasn’t.
Wish 6- PLAY FASTER!
Wish 7- Buy something from your club. Sure, that shirt, club, dozen balls, glove, or whatever may be a few dollars more expensive than it is at the discount big-box retailer, but your Pro is trying to make a living providing you with a service. Take advantage of that. And while you’re at it, take a lesson.
Wish 8- Get to know someone you’re randomly paired with on the course. Some of my best friends are people I met on the 1st tee of local muni’s.
Wish 9- I want to golf with some of the amazing people I’ve met on Twitter. That sounds crazy, but, one can’t ever have too many friends. (side note – this has already been arranged for a late January round with friends from all over the US, and its going to be a blast).
Wish 10- GO LOW.
Well kids, I’m out of coffee and its now Christmas afternoon. No matter your reason for celebrating, and no matter how you are celebrating, I hope you’re having a good time at it. I’d love to see some of your Christmas wishes. Post them in the comments, or send them to me at Levi@thegolfchick.com. I’m always looking for new things to write about, maybe you’ll give me some inspiration. And, if your wish is for me to stop writing these pointless blog posts, Santa is watching you, knows where you golf, and the next time you hit a shot OB, remember what you wished for!!!