It’s coming up on six months that I’ve been displaced from my home due to a sewage flood. Don’t worry, the golf clubs were rescued. Anyway, since I haven’t been working in the traditional sense, I decided to take on the job myself of repairing my home. Work only began in earnest about 5 weeks ago when I finally got the money from the responsible party (HOA - tree roots). The new year arrived and I had just finished getting all the wallboard up and mudded, and scheduled a friend to come in and help with the texturing. Then…

I arrive at the jobsite to complete a final sanding and mask prep the day before the big texture and - can you believe it? - water had seeped in through the brand new walls from the adjoining condo. Today was texture day and we got most of it done but the plumber has been out twice now and cannot locate the leak. I may have to seal up the wall and just cross my fingers but I haven’t quite wrapped my head around my options and solutions and it’s just so frustrating that I can’t think straight. Happy birthday to me. Yep, today actually is my birthday. I’m physically and emotionally exhausted so once again I’m opting out of social celebrations in favor of some quality Wii time. And there’s a very special someone coming over to make me a nice dinner and pamper me in general. We worked late so he’s at the store now picking up the goods while I squeeze in this little martini blogging session.

Progress report on my journey to the PGA Tour in virtual land

I attained phenom status and a new sponsor in Precept. I won the European Shootout at St. Andrews by a 10 stroke margin even though I think Sabbatini cheated after seeing my first round 58. I finished 50 under and set birdie and putting records and he managed to go low every subsequent day to finish at -40. Easiest course I’ve played on this thing yet. I wish I could putt like this in real life. I also have enough wins to go straight to Q school but I think I’m gonna play some more tourneys and gain some more experience. And unlock some more clothes, shoes and gear. Speaking of which - that’s not very realistic. A beginning golfer can go out and purchase whatever they want. I have to prove myself in order to unlock the good stuff. Oh well, I guess they need to have some “rewards” in there. I do like the Precision putting feature better than the “classic.”

Now that I got some golf related material in there, I just want to say this:

Just like every day starts a new year, one doesn’t have to reserve thankfulness for Thanksgiving. I know I probably sound like I complain a lot but I am very thankful to have so many people in my life who care about me. I have had a lot of help and support from friends and family during these trying times and I feel extremely fortunate. It’s not always easy to focus on these positive things when other crap keeps piling up around me but I have my health, shelter, and love around me and I know the value of that. I also very much appreciate all of you who continue to check in here and especially the nice comments and emails you have sent. I’m glad you’re still here and I will strive to be better for you this year than last.

My “decision” to opt out for this blue moon celebration may have been aided by my recent oral surgery, sutures, antibiotics, vicodin and chipmunk cheeks, but who cares? It was a crap year and I’m kicking it out my own way. I even gave my Wii avatar her own golfchick-munk cheeks so she can play along.

As you can see from the picture, “I” am proudly sporting an Odyssey visor as they were kind enough to step up and be my first sponsor as I attempt to make the PGA Tour in the game. Etonic also sponsored me but I can’t seem to find any of their products to endorse in the system. Oh yes, fun times for me this new year’s eve.

Here’s wishing you and your loved ones all the best for the coming new year, new decade and a safe celebration to ring it in. Be well, be happy and may they all roll true.

Kristen

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Can’t get a job? - There’s a nap for that.

Can’t pay your mortgage? - There’s a nap for that.

Can’t maintain a relationship? - There’s a nap for that.

Home flooded by an accident or mother nature? - There’s a nap for that.

Can’t afford to play golf? - Yeah, there’s a nap for that, too.

Home subsequently flooded with raw sewage because of an aggressively freaky tree root? - There’s a nap for that.

Insurance companies getting you down? - There’s a nap for that.

Homeless? - There’s a nap for that.

Feeling depressed? - There’s a nap for that.

Accepting a charity round of golf from friends and still can’t break 90 (or 100 or 80 or par)? - There’s a nap for that.

IRS after your ass? - There’s a nap for that.

Realizing you’re a screw-up and letting everyone down including yourself? - Oh, there’s definitely a nap for that.

Still can’t maintain a relationship and now you know why? There’s a nap for that.

Feeling like a complete failure and not doing anything about it? - Oh boy is there a nap for that.

Knowing how “easy” it is to maintain a golf blog and not writing on it for months? - There’s a nap for that.

Drunken blogging and baring your pathetic soul? Hopefully … Priceless. (Hook me up, MasterCard.)

It’s a blog. I never claimed to be a professional (at this).

Times are tough - sweet dreams to all. And even sweeter awakenings.

I originally intended on ending this with a promise to be better about posting more frequently, but let’s be real - there may be a nap for that.

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I recently spent a day with Charlie - talking, eating, and of course, playing golf. He is a charming, amiable man with a gracious spirit. When my golf ball rolled off the fairway and wedged into a dicey lie in the plants, he casually kicked it out and humorously issued a “commissioner’s ruling.” I wouldn’t accept that with anyone else, but who am I to argue with the commish? I think you’d be hard pressed to find anyone who doesn’t like this man.

I told the story of how he became commissioner and saved the LPGA in this article for Jackson Hole Golfer Magazine, an annual publication issued in a beautiful hard cover book as well as a glossy magazine.

With Carolyn Bivens on her way out, the LPGA needs to find someone who can pull off what Charlie did, and I suspect it won’t be easy. (Hey Charlie, how about filling in while they conduct their search?)

In his article on what went wrong with Bivens, Alan Shipnuck offers up Judy Rankin as a suggested replacement with the logic that she’s “basically a female Mechem.” Sounds good to me.

Photo from Golf.com (David Cannon/Getty Images). Perhaps If Ms. Bivens appeased all the sponsors like she must have with this homage to Ronald McDonald, she’d be in less trouble today.

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He: What, were you rolling around in the sand traps all day?

Me: Yes, exactly that.

Sure, I was in a few bunkers today. But I was talking about all over golf grit. Know what I mean? Please?

Or - and with this, I officially launch a long overdue golfchick post category - IS IT JUST ME?

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